Pamper Your Brain
/By Ziyi Xu , produced by Out There Podcast
Released on March 17, 2022
Welcome to Out There Podcast. Our stories are written for the ear, so for those able, we recommend listening while reading along. Transcripts may contain minor errors; please check the audio before quoting.
WILLOW BELDEN: It’s that time of year when a lot of us start thinking about summer.
If you’re dreaming of the mountains, check out an app called PeakVisor.
PeakVisor is one of our sponsors. Their app helps you make the most of your adventures in the mountains. When you’re in planning mode, their 3D maps can be super helpful. They’re so detailed you can see down to individual trees.
Once you’re out on an adventure, you can use PeakVisor to identify the mountains you’re looking at.
And they also have a peak bagging feature, so you can keep track of your accomplishments.
If you’d like your own personal mountain guide, check out PeakVisor in the app store. You just might love it.
(Out There theme music begins)
Hi, I’m Willow Belden, and you’re listening to Out There, the podcast that explores big questions through intimate stories outdoors.
First off, I have some news. We have finalized the list of performers for our open mic night. And my goodness, they are some impressive individuals! We have storytellers, poets, a comedian…
You can read more about each of them at outtherepodcast.com/openmic. And while you’re there, go ahead and save your seat for the event.
The open mic night is March 31 at 5:30 p.m. Pacific Time (that’s 8:30 p.m. Eastern). It’s online, so you can join from anywhere. And it is free to attend!
Again, to save your seat and read about the performers, go to outtherepodcast.com/openmic.
(theme music ends)
This season, we’re exploring the theme “Things I Thought I Knew.” Each episode we’re sharing a story about an outdoor experience that changed someone’s understanding.
Today, we’re focusing on a challenge that a lot of us grapple with: too much time on our phones.
Living in the digital era, many of us are on our phones constantly. Sometimes for useful things, sometimes…less useful.
For Ziyi Xu, it got so bad that she couldn’t concentrate on her work. Her phone was taking over her life. It was miserable, but she couldn’t break the habit.
How do we move past this dependence on our devices? How do we get our creativity and focus back?
For Ziyi, the solution came totally unexpectedly, on a trip to Texas.
(rustic music begins)
ZIYI XU: I got my first phone in 2012. I was in the 7th grade. It was a small Samsung touch screen. Each month, my parents would give me 50 yuan, which is the equivalent of seven dollars for texting, calling, and very limited internet access.
Nowadays, it might sound insane to spend only seven dollars on your phone per month, but at that time, in China, it was enough for me. I only used my phone for messaging friends and family and taking photos.
Even in high school when the Internet became much more accessible, I still kept a pretty healthy relationship with my phone. I could leave my phone at home when I go grocery shopping, or go for a run. ‘No signal?’ — it didn’t bother me at all.
(music fades out)
After high school, I left China and went to New York City for college. I wanted to pursue my dream as a filmmaker. It was my first time leaving Asia, and during that 13-hour flight, I played “Empire State of Mind” on loop the whole time.
(jaunty music begins)
I pictured myself eating a hot dog in Times Square, biking through the Brooklyn bridge, or just jaywalk like a true New Yorker and yell, “I’m walking here.” My heart was pounding out of my chest when the customs officer stamped on my passport and let me in.
For the first few days, I barely had any time to sleep, because there were so many places to visit and so many people to meet. It seemed like there’s always something happening right around the corner in this city.
(music fades out)
However, after a while, the initial excitement was replaced by anxiety. Afterall, it was a new country and a new culture for me. I found it hard to follow conversations that my classmates were having. I didn’t understand their jokes.
And I found it hard to keep up with my peers too because they’re always talking about the latest trends, the funny memes, new movies, and personal projects they just posted on social media that I had no idea was happening.
I remember there was one time in a party when someone taped a banana on the wall, and everyone started laughing. Everyone except me. I didn’t understand what was the point of it, and they all looked at me as if I was an alien.
“How can you be an art student and not know about it?” someone asked. Then they continued laughing. I frantically googled “banana taped on the wall.”
Even after the search, I still didn’t understand the point of a banana on the wall, but at that moment I knew I didn't want to feel like an idiot anymore. I needed to know more. So I devoted all my time to absorbing information.
(energetic music begins)
Every morning while I’m sitting on the toilet, I would go through news and events that happened overnight; I’m always scrolling through other’s Instagram to see their updates. I would put on my headphones to listen to podcasts when I’m walking to school, or waiting in lines.
It helped. Little by little, I became more involved in conversations with other American students, even including talks about politics. I could also laugh at their jokes. And through social media, I landed jobs on film sets. It looked like everything was going on the right track.
(music fades out)
However, deep down, I knew something was off.
(soft music begins)
I noticed it was getting harder and harder to concentrate on movies, and time seemed to go slower any time I wasn’t actively reading or listening to something. Multi-tasking was no longer something I did to save time. Instead, it was something I had to do to alleviate the anxiety.
Whenever I sit down and try to write a movie script, I couldn’t concentrate.
I absolutely hated it. It felt like my brain was on a never-ending treadmill.
(music ends)
But I couldn’t stop.
I realized I had become emotionally attached to my phone. I couldn’t go anywhere without it. I couldn’t even go to sleep at night without watching random Youtube videos first. I wanted to be able to focus again and to be able to think clearly, but I didn’t know how.
My smartphone addiction continued for my entire three and half years in college. And it got even harder to concentrate. I helped many other people with their projects, but I never managed to finish a script of my own.
After one year of being locked down during Covid in my tiny apartment in Brooklyn, I decided to take a one-month, solo trip to a ranch in Texas near the Big Bend National Park. Part of me just wanted to get away from the city, but I was really hoping that a new environment would give me some inspiration for my script.
(tranquil music begins)
When I first arrived on the ranch, I loved it. There was no ambulance siren, or random music blasting from my neighbor. I was the only human on that five acres of field. I sat on the porch, waving at the horses, listening to the birds singing, and feeling the breeze on my face.
I thought, “This is the perfect place for me to concentrate and write my story.’
But when I took out my laptop and connected to the Wifi, everything just collapsed back to the old time. I still couldn’t type for more than two paragraphs before I clicked open Youtube and watched random videos. I would stay up till 1 a.m. just staring at Instagram posts in the dark. Whenever I tried to take a relaxing walk on the ranch, I couldn’t stand the quietness, and I felt the urge to put on my headphones.
A week into my trip, I was about to give up on writing. But then one night, something happened that changed everything.
(sound of driving)
Two friends I made in the town took me to the observatory nearby to check out the stars. I was never into stargazing — nor did I know anything about it — but I knew the observatory is a popular place to visit, so I went along.
We weaved through the mountains, and climbed to the top.
(sound of car door shutting amid crickets chirping)
When I first got out of the car, I couldn't see anything. It was pure darkness. I couldn’t see my feet, nor my friend who was standing right next to me. I could only hear the howling wind and crickets chirping. After a while, my eyes adjusted to the darkness, and I started to see the outline of the mountains in the distance.
(ethereal music begins)
Then I looked up…
I wouldn’t even know where to begin to describe the sky I saw. As someone who has lived in big cities her whole life, I never knew there could be this many stars in the sky.
For me, in the city, on a clear night, you could see a handful of stars, and that’s it. But here in the mountains, the stars were everywhere. They were not just above you, but surrounded you. No matter where you look, there's a star.
I almost felt dizzy looking at all those stars, so I lay on the ground. With the sky filling my entire vision, I had this feeling I’ve never experienced before. I guess the closest thing to it is getting drunk or getting high. Your back is against the ground, but you feel like you’re floating. It seems like the stars are gonna fall on you, and you could touch them if you just reach out your arm.
Time ceased to exist. Everything just froze at that moment. I felt nothing but calmness. It was pure tranquility.
(music fades out)
It wasn’t until my friend suggested we head back did I realize we've been there for two hours. That was the first time in many years that I managed to live two hours without looking at my phone.
Having tasted the peace, I wanted to experience it more. I wondered if I could make it a habit to put my phone down, and train myself to be bulletproof to distraction.
WILLOW: Hey, it’s Willow. We’ll hear the rest of the story in a moment. But first…
When we talk about environmentalism, we often focus on fixing the mess we’ve made. But what if we took a more forward-looking approach?
Morgan Springer is the co-host of a new podcast series called [Un] Natural Selection. It’s about the benefits and pitfalls of humans tinkering with the natural world.
Morgan says the show focuses on so much more than just fixing problems.
MORGAN SPRINGER: You know, we can undo harm — yes, that’s one thing. We can also try to do no harm in the future. And then there’s going even further, where we can acknowledge our role as part of nature and try to really thrive together with the environment. And we hope people listen and start thinking about how to make that possible.
WILLOW: [Un] Natural Selection is a new season of Points North, and they’re one of our sponsors.
Listen wherever you get your podcasts or visit pointsnorthradio.org.
Support for Out There also comes from Powder7.
Powder7 is a full-service ski shop and online retailer based in Golden, Colorado. They have a classic ski shop vibe with the convenience, fast shipping, and great prices of a leading online retailer.
Powder7 only sells ski gear, and they do it year-round. The folks who work there are avid skiers, and they really know their stuff.
Powder7 carries one of the ski industry’s widest selections of gear. From carving skis like the Head Supershapes, to all-mountain and freeride skis like the Head Kores, they offer new and used skis from more than 30 brands.
Shop online at Powder7.com, or feel free to call or email them and chat with their team of experts. That’s Powder, the number 7, dot com.
And now, back to the story.
ZIYI: People say it takes 21 days to develop a new habit, so the following morning I decided, for the next month, I’m going to stargaze every night; I will limit my screen usage to only work-related tasks; and I will use social media soley for replying messages.
The first couple of days were painful. My hand would unconsciously reach out to grab my phone, and I was anxious not knowing what my friends were doing. Even when I read a book, I would constantly look at the clock to get a sense of time.
Later I learned that too much screen time negatively affects the frontal lobe. That’s the part of your brain that’s responsible for planning, organizing, and controlling impulses. Years of screen addiction have changed my brain, and it wasn’t easy to fix.
(peaceful music begins)
But eventually the sun went down, and the stars came out. I lay on the porch in the ranch, engulfed by the darkness and surrounded by the stars.
(sound of deep breaths)
Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.
All my troubles and thoughts were slowly draining away, floating into the air, and disappearing into the universe. I could almost feel the neurons in my brain shuffling and reconnecting.
Toward the end of my trip in Texas, one night, an inspiration hit me. I suddenly had the idea of how to finish the script I’ve been procrastinating on for months. It truly felt like one of those “Aha” moments in the movies.
I grabbed my laptop and started typing. But this time, the words flowed like water in the stream. I felt like I could see clearer. I no longer wanted to click the notifications at the top of the screen. I just wanted to write!
I was focused. I never knew there were this many ideas lying in my head. They were probably buried under all the information I consumed, day in and day out, and never got the chance to be dug out.
(music fades out)
But now the fog is fading, my brain could finally breathe.
After my 21 days experiment, I returned to New York feeling like a new person. I felt like I got a new brain. And this new brain has enabled me to look at things from different perspectives, and from there creativity just kept running. I’ve never had this much motivation and ideas to work on projects.
I used to believe that it’s a waste of time to do nothing — to not absorb information — since life is so short, and there’s so much we need to know. But now I see how important it is to give my brain a break, and to let it destress on a daily basis. We all know not to over-exhaust our body; to get a massage or do some yoga when we don’t feel well. The same should go for our brains.
Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t entirely stop using the internet or social media. It’s not like I decided to cut my ties with the modern world and move to the jungle. I simply found a healthier way to co-exist with it.
To start with, I have a designated time of the day to learn about the breaking news in the world. And instead of just reading the headlines, I would read the articles I found interesting. Sometimes, I’d even read a book about that topic.
As for social media, I stopped checking everyone’s status and became invisible on the digital world. And guess what? I still have friends. And in fact, seeing them in person is a lot nicer than just having them “like” my Instagram posts.
(ambient sounds of a rooftop in Brooklyn at night)
ZIYI: It's 10:00 PM in New York City, and I'm standing on the rooftop of my apartment in Brooklyn.
ZIYI: It has become a habit for me to stargaze, and to clear my mind, every night before I go to bed. I’ll admit, it’s a bit more difficult to do it in New York City than in a ranch in Texas. But it’s still relaxing.
I have a pretty good view here. I can see the entire skyline of Manhattan and downtown Brooklyn.
Today's a little bit cloudy, but you can still see the stars pretty well. When I say stars, I mean like probably 10 stars. That's all I can see. The good news is that the moon is really big today. And, uh, it's yellowish. It's quite beautiful, I will say.
ZIYI: I have come to realize that being at peace with your thoughts should be a state of mind, unrelated by your surroundings. I might not have the perfect location to stargaze, but I can still lie on my rooftop for hours at a time. I can put down my phone. And I can listen to my own mind.
(city sounds fade out)
WILLOW: That was Ziyi Xu. Ziyi is a documentarian living in Beijing. To see more of her work, check out the link in the show notes at outtherepodcast.com.
(music begins for Out There Favorites)
It’s time now for Out There Favorites. This is the part of the show where we share some of our favorite resources. Favorite apps, favorite books, favorite podcasts, gear…
These are not ads — we’re not getting any money from the things we recommend. It’s just a chance to spread the love!
Today is my birthday, so I wanted to share a few of MY favorite things with you.
First off, I want to recommend a podcast called How to Be a Girl. It’s by a woman who’s raising a transgender daughter, and it is absolutely wonderful. It starts out where the woman has a baby, and she thinks it’s a boy…but at a really young age, I think like age two or three, the child tells her that she’s a girl.
And at first the mom isn’t sure whether to take it seriously. I mean, how do you know something like this when you’re just a toddler? But eventually she realizes, ‘No, this is real. My child is a girl.’ And the podcast follows their life together, as her daughter grows up. It’s a serial podcast — so you start at episode one and listen in order. And my gosh, I just cannot recommend it enough.
The second thing I want to recommend is a book called Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. It looks at the natural world through a combination of scientific knowledge and indigenous wisdom. It’s a beautiful read — it’s inquisitive, and insightful, and thought-provoking. And I guarantee it’ll give you inspiration for your own life and your relationship to nature.
And finally, to end on a lighter note, I want to recommend Dirty Girl Gaiters. My Dirty Girls are one of my favorite pieces of gear. They’re these ankle-length gaiters that you wear over your trail runners or hiking shoes, and they keep all the rocks and dirt and other schmutz out of your shoes.
They are a total game changer for hiking and backpacking. And they come in all sorts of bright cheerful designs, so you’re pretty much guaranteed to get compliments when you’re out on the trail. And I should say, they’re called Dirty Girls, but they are definitely not just for women.
I have links to all of these items in the show notes at outtherepodcast.com.
(music fades out)
Coming up next time on Out There, we have a story about a woman who does Live Action Role Play.
PARIS MCMILLIAN: It helps me go through my day feeling much more competent. Like I can put on this persona of a type of person that, you know, is doing everything that she’s supposed to do, and that kind of knows what she’s doing. And then I end up doing that after a while. That ends up being the reality of things, cuz I have this persona but it really is just me.
WILLOW: Tune in on March 31 to hear that story.
Speaking of March 31 — don’t forget to sign up for our open mic night! You can save your seat and read about all our performers at outtherepodcast.com/openmic.
(folksy music begins)
I’d like to give a big thank you to Annika Walters, Anne Galentine, Gary Peters, Phil Timm, Doug Frick, Tara Joslin, and Deb and Vince Garcia.
They are Out There patrons, which means they make monthly financial contributions to Out There.
We are an independent podcast, and about half of our operating budget comes from listener gifts. So I mean it when I say we couldn’t produce this podcast without the support of listeners.
If you’re not yet a patron, consider becoming one! Your contributions go directly toward paying for the stories you hear on the show.
To see all of the great perks we offer to patrons, and to sign up for the fun, go to patreon.com/outtherepodcast. And I have a link to that in the show notes as well.
Thank you SO much.
(music fades out)
OK, time for a pop quiz. How many mountains are there in the world?
Any guesses?
Turns out, there are 1,187,049 peaks that have names. And more if you count the ones that don’t have names.
If you’re anything like me, you probably like to know what mountains you’re looking at when you’re out on adventures. But that’s sometimes hard to figure out, because hiking maps usually only show you the immediate vicinity.
Lucky for us, there’s an app that can help. It’s called PeakVisor.
PeakVisor is one of our sponsors.
When you open up their app, it figures out where you are, and then it gives you a panoramic picture of what you’re seeing, with all the peaks labeled. They show you how high the mountains are, how far away they are, and more.
If you’d like your own personal mountain guide, check out PeakVisor in the app store. You just might love it.
(Out There theme music begins to play)
If you’re new to Out There, check out the Best of Out There playlist. This is a collection of some of our favorite episodes of all time — and it’s a great introduction to the range of stories we do on the show. You can find Best of Out There on Spotify, and at our website outtherepodcast.com.
Today’s story was written and sound designed by Ziyi Xu. Story editing by me, Willow Belden. Out There’s advertising manager is Jessica Taylor. Our audience growth director is Sheeba Joseph. Cara Schaefer is our print content coordinator. Our ambassadors are Tiffany Duong, Ashley White, and Stacia Bennet. And our theme music was written by Jared Arnold.
Have a beautiful day, and we’ll see you in two weeks.
(theme music ends on a last whistling note)
